I don't want to jinx it but I've been doing better in terms of panic attacks and dissociation lately. There have been 2 times in the past week and a half where I felt dissociationa and panic coming on but I managed to stop it in it's tracks by using grounding techniques and meditating and distraction like with games or tv shows or reading or doing household tasks like dishes, laundry, cleaning in general. And using mindfulness by not letting my thoughts float off into future worries or the past. So I'm happy about that. Also I'm a lot less irritable lately. And my relationship is going well, we've been together for a whole year and 4 months now. That's the longest relationship I've ever been in. I've stopped "splitting" on him mentally (I have bipolar disorder but also a history of BPD). I still do sometimes but I don't act on it or say anything impulsively to cause problems like I used to. Like a lot of the time I'd split and get angry for no reason and irritable and decide I'd want nothing to do with him and want to break up and be alone but I stopped acting on those impulses. Which has been hard because I'm a very impulsive person and I tend to say things and make decisions and act without thinking things through logically, all emotion mind. But it's important to learn not to do that because I don't want to ruin something that's been so amazing.
So that's good. I have less mood swings too. I'm generally pretty level now in terms of mood. Sometimes I feel euphoric but it's not as long lasting or damaging like when I'd get manic. I rarely ever get depressed anymore, and when I do it's not severe. I don't
anymore ever. I'm sleeping better, as in I'm actually sleeping and not up for 24-40 hours at a time. Or only sleeping 3-4 hours a night.
I'm completely recovered from my eating disorder I struggled with for over 10 years.
My med changes a few months ago helped a lot. I was very manic and heading into psychosis at the time, which the substance use (THC) made worse and escalated it faster.
Meditation and mindfulness help me so much. And sleep.
I'm doing good. Now I'm working on creating a social life