Hi Deflated

I just wanted to check in on you.

This situation is so hard. You’re trying to be reasonable and you’re in a tight spot.

My kids had terrible sleep problems and nightmares at different times. They were often in our room looking to get into bed with us

Yes, sometimes we relented

I often took them back to their own bed and stayed with them and calmed them there.

People can say whatever they like about those decisions. My kids grew out of that and we did what we did to maintain sanity and sleep schedules

I feel that your apprehension is completely justified. This isn’t your child. None of you are ready for you to act as if this is your child.

Absolutely the child may be jealous, the child may be stressed from the separation, the child may be playing this for attention or whatever. All of that is fixable and addressable in time.

But it doesn’t help you now

This man you’re with now sounds kinda thick. I don’t think he gets where you’re coming from and I don’t think he’s trying to.

Do you plan to stay with him?

Are there qualities you see that you want long term?

Is there a possibility of a one on one with him, when he’s not distracted, when you can lay this out for him like you’re connecting the dots or painting by numbers?

“I need to work. To do that, I need to sleep. I need your help with that. And all these interruptions affect my intimacy with you.”

“Because I can’t sleep at night I have to get more rest during the day. I’ll need your help with that if that’s the case.”

“Can we agree that these things are moving toward changing in the next X weeks or X days?”

In the interim is there a half way solution??? You sleeping with a fan on for white noise and ear plugs?

Lack of sleep is unbearable long term. You need your rest.

I endured disrupted sleep for years. In the past year it finally changed. I can’t believe the difference in how I feel.

Check in and talk to us here. This forum helped me a lot over the years.

RDMercer