You want to be 105 lbs but is that really reasonable for your height? I don't know how tall you are but I know that we set unrealistic goals for ourselves because no matter how much weight we lose, we still think we are fat. It is just a downward spiral of "just a few more lbs and I will be happy" = but I know I am never happy. I want recovery but I want it without gaining a pound. Tomorrow I am going to a support group that meets once a month with my husband -family members are encouraged to come - so he can learn about anorexia. I don't think it will help me because I wont be able to talk in front of him but at least he will hear from other people about the illness. I found 2 support groups that meet once a week and went on intakes for both of them. I am waiting for a call back from one of them on Monday. It is terrifying to take this step toward recovery but getting worse is also terrifying. I am in relapse after 14 years of recovery and I am blown away at how quickly it sucked me down - so far, so fast. Anyway, back to you. Be careful. I am worried about you.