I probably shouldve gone with decaf at DD today at least I got a small. That s'mores syrup isn't good, but maybe it'd be better with creamer. Wouldn't try it again. Honestly the only good flavoring they have is the mocha and I only like that hot w/creamer and I hate getting creamer because ED fights me for it.

I did get a lot of my energy out stacking wood just now though. I was pretty active today, did a few laps at the park (some of it running, including sprinting from my car before I left to some place I could pee ), walked to DD and back from there, stacked quite a bit of wood, just overall got more sunshine than usual. I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, much calmer than usual. Maybe I'll try reading an actual book!

Oh, and Bo died. I'm not really grieving or anything about it. I've actually been kinda waiting for it for a while and mad at my mom for not putting him down a while ago when he had practically no quality of life and could barely function. I cried more watching that than after finding out. I actually have barely cried after finding out. Like when Lu died and with watching the deterioration I did the grieving and acceptance before it actually happened.

My neighbor has some mental health issues as well (similar to me with the lashing out/irritability stuff, her mom told me she has depression but I wonder if there's some mania or manic-like traits in her depression stuff as well) and she's flipping out down the road right now. I bet other people think it's great when we're both the angry symptomatic at the same time.

I'm still working on my writing mostly mental health experiences but putting some perspectives/philosophies I've gained from the experiences that I probably would not have had without the psych probs and treatments and people I've met in treatments. I usually work on it at the library though it's a bit chaotic there. It's like the only place only homeless folks can really be especially on cold/hot days, and it's good they have that, but there's a lot of interesting happenings there because of people not really being there for library purposes.

I know this is too much but I swear it was much longer.