I too have had issues with sleep since childhood. I felt better on no sleep than a bad night of sleep. I would wait for my parents to go to bed then a bit longer for them to sleep and then depending on the time of the year I’d sneak out the window or turn the flashlight on and read. I’m almost 66 now and still struggle, but physically I can not handle missing sleep anymore. A pdoc about 10 yrs ago put me on a high dose of ambien and that helped. I was able to get into a routine. I now look forward to bedtime and enjoy dreaming.