@Manarinorange

That sucks about your lorazepam situation. I had a moronic pdoc take me off 4mg of clonazepam in two months (I'd been on it daily, scheduled, for ten years) and it was a NIGHTMARE. I cried TWICE during the withdrawal, that's how awful it was. Finally she put me on gabapentin, which helped make the withdrawal a bit more tolerable. But now I'm stuck on 30mg of diazepam scheduled, and the pdoc who prescribed me it just retired, and I have an appointment with a new one on Monday and I KNOW she's going to take me off it, and I'm really pissed because I TOLD my now retired pdoc that I wanted him to take me off diazepam because I trusted him to do it the right way, and he just said that I needed to be on it. I said I was worried about him retiring and he said he wasn't planning on retiring anytime soon. Fukking LIAR. So now I'm probably going to have another clonazepam-like experience. Wonderful. REALLY looking forward to that. I'm fukking PISSED. I NEVER should have gone back on a benzo to begin with. Fukking FANTASTIC times ahead for me. Benzos are EVIL.

Anyway, today was my birthday. I hate being 42. I'm in a shytty, sarcastic, cynical mood. I had unfortunate dreams last night. I want to cry. I have reasons to cry. I'm in love, but my heart is breaking at the same time. 💔 And it's not healthy or normal. I look old. I'm wrinkly. And then I read online that loxapine withdrawal can last up to TWELVE YEARS. WTF!!!!! I'm so pissed. I'm addicted to all this fukking shyt, and I know my new moron, POS pdoc is going to take me off loxapine cold turkey and I'll be nauseous and and sick.

So my birthday was pretty sucky. Oh BOOHOO.