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Stillhuman
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Member Since Dec 2022
Location: Canada
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Default Aug 13, 2024 at 11:09 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abc543 View Post
So some time ago, I met this online friend from the other part of the world. That friend quickly developed a crush on me, but I wasn't interested which I made clear. But they kept on flirting with me, requiring me to reply after a few minutes, asked me nsfw stuff while reacting with heart emojis and stuff. So I became creeped out and set the bounndary that I don't want to vc with them anymore. They became super annoyed, said things like "How can it be stressful to vc with a friend?" And "You are supposed to do things you don't want to for friends". Which lead me to get more and more distant. The friend started pushing me into dating them, said they won't support me unless I date them or become their very best friend (even spammed me with sad emojis when I said I don't want to be close and told I am rude for not inviting them when I played video games with my other friends). They mocked me with their friends for stuff as innocent as me asking what jobs are available for me as a student (we were both studying), saying I take advantage of them. Eventually I decided to not even meet up with that friend irl, and this is where everything went downhill. I got blamed for everything I did, their therapist called me incapable of friendships and non-flexible, the friend's friends started calling me rude, manipulative and said I am the one who should apologize/change. I started getting mocked for literally every action I did, including wanting to be even more distant and not wanting to travel with that friend (they said I owe them my time since they fly to me from the other side of the world). Eventually the friend agreed on more distance, said "if you ever need help, feel free to contact me". But when I got attacked on another forum the other day by a random user and saw the friend as a last resort to help me, I got called "not nice".

I really find all of this so confusing. I see this as pure harassment but their friends just keep on being against me and claiming I am the only one at fault. Their arguments are that I wanted close friends so turning down that online friend as a close friend is rude, that I have a long history of losing friends so in this case it must be my fault too, and that I once told that online friend that my abusive ex might have my naked pictures that he might use to blackmail me and apparently people who have a crush on me should not know someone else saw me naked (so this justifies them pushing me to date them, apparently)
Those people are not on your side. You shouldn't be pressured into a sexual relationship with someone you don't want to be with. The fact they are telling their friends negative things about you for setting boundaries says more about them than it does you. You just want friends and they want more and that is okay to set boundaries.

Your therapist is not helpful. I have ended friendships because they violated my boundaries and were toxic. I got **** for it but it was for the better.
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