Covered a lot of therapeutic relationship ground in today's Dr. T session. From handshakes to the fish to R. And I'm feeling generally OK--maybe even good--about it.

What's interesting is that my OCD (partly focused on contamination fears) is actually helping me understand something and not be offended by it. I'd talked to him a few months ago about how in the first session in the new office, I wanted to shake hands at the start, to sort of welcome me to the office. I probably should have mentioned it again closer to the time, but didn't. I guess I just assumed he'd remember.

He seemed confused when I asked him about it at the start of last session, though agreed to do it--felt very awkward though. He said today that he had no recollection of that conversation whatsoever, but believes me that we had it. So he felt put on the spot, as it's not something we normally do (just shake hands at the end). He said it was also that he couldn't wash his hands right after (he'd told me before he normally does after I leave), so he was distracted by his hand not being washed the whole session. He said it wasn't about me, that he thought I wasn't clean or had cooties--he feels that way with shaking anyone's hand.

I actually did understand. I imagine if I didn't have OCD myself, I might have been offended. (Mine is more if I had to eat something with my hands without being able to wash them--if I'm just sitting there, it's fine.) I am glad he told me, though. Should we ever shake hands at the beginning or before he end again, I'll be like, "Go on, go ahead and wash them."