Today's first virtual session with R was an absolute mess.

She asked how I was, and I just broke.

I had an idea of how I was going to spend this time (i.e. the next four sessions) but this 'feelings first' experience of virtual therapy makes it really hard.

She said she experienced me as more articulate today, but that's purely because we were talking about stuff that I'd chosen so as not to get emotional.

I don't know whether it's possible to hide my own video on Teams, so I spent the entire session trying not to be distracted by it.

There's big stuff we need to talk about, fairly urgently, but I can't do it while we're virtual.