Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail
Today's first virtual session with R was an absolute mess.
She asked how I was, and I just broke.
I had an idea of how I was going to spend this time (i.e. the next four sessions) but this 'feelings first' experience of virtual therapy makes it really hard.
She said she experienced me as more articulate today, but that's purely because we were talking about stuff that I'd chosen so as not to get emotional.
I don't know whether it's possible to hide my own video on Teams, so I spent the entire session trying not to be distracted by it.
There's big stuff we need to talk about, fairly urgently, but I can't do it while we're virtual.
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Ugh, I'm so sorry it was a mess, Lost.
I'm sure it didn't help that she said you were articulate...as Comrade said, it was likely a different part of you that showed up. Maybe the part that tends to be there when you're at work, say? Like, professional Lost?
Are you meeting with her on a laptop (or desktop) computer or your phone/a tablet? This may not work on a phone, but could you maybe put a post-it note over where your own video is on Teams? I remember someone recommending that at one point.
Might it possibly be better not to meet at all until she's in person again? I mean, you could maybe try next week, and if that goes poorly, too, just take a break till she's back? I know that will be difficult, too, of course.