I feel defeated. I am tired of fighting for my life every second and trying to heal for the past 20 years with no progress. I am 50 now and I just feel paralyzed. I am exhausted. My mind and body are relentless terrorists. I wish that I can break through whatever in me is so resistant and closed off to healing. My life is a mess, getting worse, and I lost everything and everyone. I am frozen now and just do not want to do anything anymore but I am forced to go on because of my children, who I hardly get to spend time with anymore since they are older and so busy with their own lives. I was swindled and robbed out of a real life. 😞