Since 2021 I was working with a therapist who specialized in the intersection of autism spectrum disorder and issues related to sex and sexuality. However we just suddenly and unexpectedly parted ways a couple weeks ago on bad terms, and it couldn't have happened at a worse time. The breakup has exacerbated the very abandonment, rejection, and security issues I was trying to work with her on, so now I am going into a tailspin. It feels like she was the last thread holding me to my sanity and now I really don't see any hope of keeping it together.
It's really hard to find therapists who are trained and experienced in the intersection of issues I am experiencing and I don't know where to even begin. She was the only person in my life I felt like I could trust to be fully honest with, and it took a long time to get to that point with her. I don't have any other emotional safe place or people I can talk to or vent to about the complicated and sensitive issues that plague me. I've tried to in the past and all I get is judgment, condemnation, and ignorance.
She was working pro-bono because I haven't had a stable living wage in years. I get insurance through medicaid, and the offerings for mental health are very basic. I have no faith that anybody in network would have the training and experience necessary to approach and I really don't have money to pay for a specialist out of pocket, and I don't think I can even find one who is licensed for my area.