Thank you, everyone. Mouse, your post last night cheered me up, lol.

Posting in this thread and reading everyone's responses has made me understand this whole thing a lot better. I realize now there are two issues. First, that there is this important issue I wanted to discuss, and had previously wanted to discuss and not been able to, and I felt thwarted because of this. My anxiety increased because I will now have to go to the meeting "unprepared." Second, that my T did not return my email when I really needed him too, when I told him I had this important thing I wanted to discuss and could I see him the following week after all.

For the first issue, I am feeling I have moved on. Discussing this issue with T and dealing with it would have been enormously helpful to me if it had occurred before my legal meeting. But I didn't get a chance to do that because I couldn't get a session, so no use crying over spilt milk. I can't discuss this issue in time for the meeting, and it won't help me to discuss it later. So, end of story. No need to bring this up with T since he can't go back in time and help me with it.

The second issue turns out to be what really is bugging me--that T ignored (whether intentionally or unintentionally) my request for a session when I really needed it, when it would have been so helpful, when I actually said it was "important." The fact that a number of people's responses here keyed in on #1 made me realize it is #2 that is causing me difficulty! Pinksoil, your post was so "right on" as it cut to the core of this whole thing. Not only did you zero in on the main cause of my source of anger and anxiety, but you also helped validate my emotional response. (Maybe you should be a T!) What I am feeling is not about the "issue", it is about T letting me down.

T's lack of response reinforced the behavior I have learned all my life, that it is better not to ever let anyone know what you need or want or what is important to you, because they will let you down, you will make yourself vulnerable, and you will be hurt. The one time I ask him for something "important," and he is not there. Through therapy, I have been trying to break this pattern of not letting others know about my wants and needs, and this incident seems to have set me way back. I was learning to tell T what I needed. Now I am back to not wanting to do that with anyone. I feel confused and now am doubting that this should even be a goal for myself.