I think part of why this has been so hard for me is because I haven’t indulged in any anger. It’s been important to me that I feel and process things. That’s left me more vulnerable though.

I don’t foster or hold any contempt. It’s more disbelief and being Incredulous at things she’s said and done. I think she’s a damaged soul.

The thing is, I would have loved her despite that.

A few years back my oldest was in a bad, frantic, dramatic relationship. Recently he said “Don’t you remember what you told me? You said when you hear about a drowning there are often two people. A drowning person will use you like a life raft and pull you down with them. You said, you offer them a line or throw them a life jacket but it’s up to them to grab it. Do the same in your relationships.

Dad, you gotta let her sink or we all go down.”

Moving on.

RDM