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T's lack of response reinforced the behavior I have learned all my life, that it is better not to ever let anyone know what you need or want or what is important to you, because they will let you down, you will make yourself vulnerable, and you will be hurt. The one time I ask him for something "important," and he is not there. Through therapy, I have been trying to break this pattern of not letting others know about my wants and needs, and this incident seems to have set me way back. I was learning to tell T what I needed. Now I am back to not wanting to do that with anyone. I feel confused and now am doubting that this should even be a goal for myself.

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Sunrise,

I think this is a powerful statement and one that deserves to be brought to T's attention. Sometimes in therapy we inadvertently re-create painful patterns of the past. It's unconscious on both our parts. I think the fact that you noticed it is a sign of growth. So go ahead and let T in on it--I bet he doesn't know. Keep working it through and don't give up.

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I am not a needy client. I rarely call or email my T, and never for therapy/support, only for logistics.

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I thought this was a very telling statement. Do you equate being a needy client with negativity? Could you possibly think that if you bring this up now that will qualify you as a "needy" client?

Are needy clients less deserving of return calls or e-mails? What exactly does needy mean? Is it bad to need contact with others? Just food for thought.

It sound like you are doing good work here. I think he should be informed about your let down. You are worth it and your relationship deserves to be enriched by telling.