Do those people you tell your story to have anything to do with your "wife" that it could possibly "tarnish" her?
I found that my now ex never had anything to do with "our" friends after I left so when I told them the TRUTH about the situation they never saw him anyway. Besides, if TRUTH tarnishes then so be it. My daughter got the facts on everything her dad did before & after I left. I never said anything bad about him but gave her the facts so she could understand what was happening. He lied about the facts. I just let her deal with her handling of that. He was a good dad to her growing up...he was just a crappy husband our whole marriage. She has a right to know the truth so she can understand what is going on. I don't talk about feelings or even my opinions to her but I do provide facts. Up to others how they "feel" about it