Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
It’s been hard to recover too because part of the process is gaining and accepting external validation.
I feel guilty anytime I tell someone the truth about things that occurred here. It’s been hard to accept who she is, but also not trying to sully her reputation.
I’ve needed validation, and so have the kids, which would require telling our story. But doing that tarnishes her. So. It’s easier to have very limited contacts.
RDMercer
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The kids and you are in a good position to validate each other because you all, at the same time, lived through this experience of dealing with this damaged woman. Family counseling for the kids and you, together as a group, might be very helpful. The details of how your marriage disintegrated is no one else's business. When we feel we've been treated badly, it is gratifying to hear others confirm that we were used or abused. But I wouldn't go confiding to people at random. Close family and old friends might be okay to confide in. Support groups like this are appropriate for sharing your situation and getting feedback.
People are nosey. New people you meet will be curious about why your kids are with you and where's their mother. Don't mistake curiosity for empathy.