What would you say to your own patient who said "I should...three years, after all..." I bet you'd say, "it takes as long as it takes. How long did it take for you to get here?"

Earned attachments have to be reearned over and over again. Therapist-constancy is very hard and it can be shaken by so many things, in and out of our awareness. Even dates can trigger a mood-swing with regards to the relationship -we aren't even conscious that it is an anniversary of some kind but our body knows.

What impresses me is that you have awareness of what was found and then lost again. You grieve for it, so it obviously meant a great deal. That tells me you will work hard to rediscover it.

And I think we must not forget that Therapy is about reworking, over and over again - those damaged muscles, those damaged feelings. Keep at it. You are doing great.