I don't feel well. It happened over a few days: more and more depressed.

I am tired of always being clever, clever, clever .............

I have decided to start with the Sun lamp, and I am still determined to do so. I'll start tomorrow.

This day I found myself writing a goodbye letter in my head to my family. I recognized that this was not good, even if it was only in my head.

I think I feel tired of trying and trying, always thinking out clever plans about how to survive. I took an early Spring vacation, this year, to get an end to my Winter SAD. We had many good family gatherings in May/June and some in July. The kids have grown up and are out of the nest (doing well). I am lonely! The Autumn will come and so will the Winter when I have to fight my SAD.


In my cleverness, I have already ordered my Spring Vacation for the next year. Clever me!


Life is such a struggle ....

I started to pray, and before I knew it, I had assigned myself into an online prayer group. That starts tomorrow as well. I think the online prayer group was God's answer to me as his beloved daughter.


God is there, and I will survive even if it is hard now!

May you all be well (enough)!