The cool thing about (being transferred over to) ACT is that I have a nurse bothering me about meds every day. I guess she/they want me to take my PRN Haldol (both of them) every day. I got **** this morning for not doing that yesterday, and they've said "well, that's ok," like it was a bad thing the past few days if I've had one (yesterday was the first day I didn't take any). Fk that. I've gotten through struggles without Haldol before, I can go through them until I get to the point I'm crying for it again.

I mean, sure, I probably don't take them when I should, but I think having BPD makes things wayyy harder to decide if I truly need a PRN because I'm questioning "am I going to be better in five minutes before it even has a chance to kick in, or in a couple hours am I going to be hallucinating my brains out?"

I love BPD too. It's all about that yelling out "I want to die I want to die" and instantly coming up with a detailed--and frankly abusive to people who have "done me wrong"--but then an hour later be as ok as I can be.

But I did take my stupid Haldol (and Seroquel) this morning. Maybe I should do that more often?