Hi max and welcome to PC...

We can't possibly diagnose you here or on any public forum. My suggestion would be to fins a competent therapist in your area and discuss with them,,your issues...

But for an informational and research base in forming some of your questions for therapy...many people suffer various degrees of death anxiety. The sources of this anxiety has many aspects including psychosocial maturity levels, feeelings of powerlessnes and lack of control and ego integrity(feeling a level of worthiness in one's life).

It can be difficult to accept one's own mortality but finding purpose in one's life and a developement of a deep Faith can lessen the emotional concern...

Best to you...

Lenny