I used to be a body builder, I had close to the perfect toned body. People used to stare at me because I was very muscular, now I feel they stare at me because I'm to heavy. I never lost any muscle but just gained fat on top of it so I feel I look huge. I've had three kids and my body is far from perfect. I can't bring myself to wear anything less then huge baggy clothing, I'll wear a huge sweatshirt even though I'm sweating to death. I can't stand getting my picture taken, My Mom says I'm being vein, how could that be when I can't stand myself. My sisters and even my ex-husband tell me I don't have to wear those kind of cloths, that I'm not that big. I've tried wearing less but I'm so uncomfortable I'm miserable and wind up getting changed. I feel like everyone looking at me and not for good reasons ("she shouldn't be wearing that"). To make matters worse my husband wants nothing to do with me, we haven't slept in the same bed for two years. I feel it's because he finds me disgusting. I've tried to get back to the gym but with an 11 year old in sports and very active 4 and 3 year olds it's hard to get into any kind of routine. How do I get over not having the body I used to? How do I except this new body?