You two are definitely seeing this differently: she sees the glass half full, you the glass half empty. I know this sounds trite, but the bolded part is the half empty part, the negative part.

Just an observation. I dont know how to reconcile the two views. As you say, her side "always wins."

I learned how to accept the negatives in my life from my t, who had similar negatives but overcame them. I dont think i learned much from my ts who always won and didnt understand what it was like to really lose.