Thanks Luna.
This is why I'm feeling like it's over. Yet again she wins. I can't compete against her and her children's needs. I will always lose to her and I will always lose to them. My needs and even wants are not important. I need stability. Is that too much to ask from a therapist? I just gave up our office of 2.5 years. I am dealing with a lot of things that are unfinished (our ruptures and other misunderstandings). And now, once again, the focus becomes her. She says it doesn't have to be. But how could it not be? This will affect me for well over a year. This impacts me greatly. And she doesn't care. She blamed it on my sensitivities and trauma. Maybe so, but it's still her actions that lead to this. She is still responsible. But maybe I give her too much credit. Maybe she just is an irresponsible person. Especially when she's off her meds. She doesn't seem to own that that itself causes problems. But of course, since she's pregnant and breastfeeding, she can't be on her meds. So at least another 2 years of her uncontrolled behavior.
I don't know how to reconcile this. I am looking at the glass half empty. Her stupidity doesn't help me in any way.
I do have problems accepting negatives despite having experienced so many. I think it's mostly been having someone to lean on. I haven't taken care of myself since before H.