Dear T,

I hope you won't have some issue with me seeing R both today and tomorrow. You're out of town--literally, not like with the move, when you were in town but unavailable. I mean, I do feel better after today's session. I'd likely be fine to not see her tomorrow. But I think she can help me with more coping strategies, to help with, as she put it, the "insulation."

Why do you seem so unable to help me with those? It's like you expect me to cope, but aren't giving me the tools to do so. Or the "tools" are meeting with you regularly, but then when you're not around, I don't have much to work with. You'll mention things like exercise. I know, it's ultimately on me, but something like, "I wish you'd exercise more regularly" isn't helpful. Maybe help me come up with a plan? I guess I have to ask for that.

And I had an insight at the end with R. How this is similar to my parents, who just expected me to cope with certain things without really teaching me how. And then seem puzzled that I can't cope. I do wonder though, if you do mindfulness?breathing exercises with some other clients (as you've mentioned doing this), but won't with me because of transference stuff. I guess I need to ask about that. Maybe there's some other reason? Maybe I said "no" one time early on and you took that to mean "no" forever.

But like R said, I can find and do that stuff on my own. It would still be nice to get more guidance from you on it--at least she recommends specific websites and apps and stuff.

Love,
LT