She dropped by today to see our daughter, unannounced.

She looked incredible. Honestly, beautiful and much younger than her age, in nice clothes, with nice jewelry, in a new SUV.

She blamed me, in front of DD, for my profound and constant anger that ruined our home. She told dd that she was never exposed to my relentless anger and was shielded from it, that I’d done it all behind closed doors late at night.

My wife also told me that I was alienating and causing problems in the kids relationships with her.

I let them talk alone for a while.

Our daughter spoke to her for about an hour. The first time in well over a year. Her mom told her she was moving into a big apartment with two beds for her and her brother. And told her she could buy her a new phone with a data plan so that I wouldn’t know that they were talking.

DD is very confused right now. She wants a mom. But… She said, there were too many “twists” in her mom’s version of things.

She said she is scared it will affect her relationship with me and her sibling if she pursues a relationship with her mom.

I’ve been left questioning reality ever since. And I’ve sunk into a dark, dark state of thinking. I already feel hopeless and like there’s no positive future in front of me. Just from this interaction. I’m fighting off the hopelessness right now.

I’m scared of being guilty of alienation for even trying to coach dd through the gaslighting she experienced just now.

I’m also scared of dd changing her mind about things she said AFTER I’ve now put my neck in a noose and stuck up for the kids in court.

And she’s scared her brother is going to find out about them talking because he received abuse from his mom.

This is the ability to create disorder, disharmony, and appear the victim while doing it.

RDMercer