She brought a man with her? Wow.... SMH.

This is JMHO, so take it with a grain as someone who only knows what you've shared here.

Everything she did yesterday just reeks of control. Everything.

She wants something, has an agenda, and is being very clever in how she's approaching things.

My concern is for your DD. That she's essentially attempting to love bomb her in order to win her over, and use her. It's hard to buy how much she wants to be a loving mom when she's spent an awful lot of time as an absentee parent- by choice. It feels like a power play. And your instincts are good in that you have to be very careful about how you respond. You might see what she's doing very clearly, but if you say it, then you're the one who's trying to be manipulative and controlling with DD. It is disgusting, and very covert on her part.

I was also going to suggest seeing if the counseling appointment could be moved up, in light of the new developments. DD needs someone to help her, and you probably can't, or shouldn't, be that person - given that it could be used against you.

(((RDM))), I'm so, so sorry this is happening.