I'm so sorry you went through that Retro! I'm scared of the same happening to me. Like second child just means less availability, less connection, less support. I struggle with favoritism. How can I compete with 2 little ones? No one can. It would be extremely wrong if I could.
I also realized last night, she's only given me 6 months to reacclimate to her since her leave. And there have now been 5 ruptures. The ONLY thing I've gotten to work on in the past 12 months that hasn't been because of her is the situation with my dad and sister. That's it. Everything else has been about her ever since the announcement of her first pregnancy. 6 months... Now it's all about her again.