This therapist sounds like she knows what you need and your wife’s tactics. Your wife knows how to disable you. This falls in line with covert narcissism.

I agree that your wife just showing up expecting to take control has got to be stopped because she will just keep on invading. This gives toxic people a high and they feel empowered. Yet the therapist is right in that they set it up where they have a witness that they have convinced to believe they are the victim. This is what my older sister did and she manipulated my elderly parents like your wife is doing with your daughter.

It’s good to have a therapist that gets this because it can get disabling. I’m sorry ((RD)) unfortunately I know it all too well and had to have help with it myself.