I think many times we are actually stronger than we give ourselves credit for because we see the stuff we struggle with. However in reality those struggles are what continues to help us grow stronger & build on the strength we actually have. Outsiders don't see that struggle like we do. They blink & miss it while we are there to feel it.
I think for me, DBT's Mindfulness was my best help to balance emotions with logic. My mom made emotions look bad from thw time I can remember so I turned off all but anger & life was basically neutral till I had to deal with her emotions. Then I would throw out defiant anger. Didn't work well as an adult & I needed to learn what other emotions were but to balance them well with my logic.
You have both logic & emotion.....learning a working balance is what this whole mess is teaching you & you are learning very well even if it doesn't "feel like it" to you. Learning is all about learning to navigate through things we have never experienced before & your son is absolutely correct.