I feel like there is too much immediacy in my emotions.

I have a very very hard time “putting a pin” in something and returning to it later.

I’ve felt utterly overwhelmed in the last few years. It’s only in the last few months that I’ve felt this deep peace

Maybe not surprisingly that’s when she showed up.

But anyway….. Immediacy. It’s almost a panic where I want someone else to see, hear, and validate me.

It’s not fair to the kids that I’ve asked them at times about things, but I’ve been so gaslit for so long I haven’t trusted myself.

I’ve denied reality for so long that it makes me question it to face it.

I’m not strong enough in my mind to quell these immediate emotional needs and responses.