Hi emily1890,

I can definitely identify with you! I have had panic attacks while alone and with others. And when I am with others, sometimes I flee instead of staying with them.

I know that panic disorder is heavily linked to deformations in regions of the brain.

The deformations include atrophy [loss of mass, volume and density] in brain tissue, abnormal enlargement of brain regions, cortical thinning, lack of adequate connectivity between brain regions, lack of protective glial cells, reduced regional cerebral blood flow and glucose metabolism, and malfunctions in optimum oxygen regulation in the brain.

So I know that panic attacks, limited symptom or full-blown attacks are the result of illness and pathology in the brain.

The problem is that most people don't have this information so that there can a stigma attached to having a panic attack, namely people's belief that a panic attack is the result of weakness in a person, poor moral character, a bad lifestyle, and so on.

So sometimes I feel "judged" in the bad sense by people, even though their judgment is based on innocent ignorance. Sometimes rather than face their disapproval, I flee. Of course, fleeing is one the three "F"s of panic "flee, fight, freeze." I think there are four "F"s now.

So I think your behavior is perfectly normal given the fact that you suffered panic. Fight, flight or freezing are all perfectly normal responses to panic. Staying is also normal.

I am glad you were able to ride out the storm. But please do not mentally beat yourself up in the future if you find your behavior surprises you. Panic is like that.

Very best wishes to you!