Wow, that's a tough one. Wish I had some good advice to offer you. Many heavy burdens have weighed you down over the years and are still being borne by you. I think your being conflicted and scared is perfectly understandable. What do you see as the short term and long term costs and benefits of "at your own pace schooling" other than the ones you've mentioned. So sorry I do not really know how to be helpful to you. I admire you. You've been through a lot.