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ScarletPimpernel · Sep 04, 2024 at 01:29 PM

Sorry for spamming my own thread. I wrote and sent this to L. Please no harsh judgments. This was much much more nicer than what I had been writing.

Quote:

I'm canceling today's phone call and I'm taking a break. Go ahead and charge me the $15 cancelation fee for tomorrow. I'm too triggered by you and don't feel you are taking things seriously. Maybe this will allow me to calm down and maybe this will show you how much you have hurt me and affected me. There isn't a need for collaboration. I'm falling apart, L and you don't seem to care. Maybe if you did, I'd choose differently. Maybe if you'd actually help me. This is my life. You are supposed to be a part of it! #decades But you keep harming me. You know making this decision isn't easy and harms me in a different way. I hope you realize the sacrifice I'm making by choosing this. I will be alone again. Please don't respond. I will contact you when I want to. And I now know I have 5 sessions to decide what is best for me. I hope it weighs on your conscience knowing that I must suffer. I hope you actually care, love, and respect me enough to be responsible for this pain. And I hope if I do come back, you go back to actually helping me and supporting me like you did before your first pregnancy. I want to share my life with you. I want decades. I want and need your care and help. But I'm not functioning anymore. Being suicidal for most the week? And you not helping... I love you, L. This is not what I want: now or for us. But you've left me no choice. You need to take my pain and safety seriously. You gave me time to process the things in a long session, but for this, you can't make the time. I wish you would have helped...