Normally when I feel this way I'd call my treatment team's line, but they're sooooo fking useless. I know how to not hurt myself, it's not that fking hard. It's wanting to not hurt myself that's the issue. I deserve it. God knows. He sees the evil in me. He knows I made out with the devil and loved every second of it.
I hate my T. I hate her, hate her, hate her. I hate my CM too. My pdoc can go to hell. I swear I'm quitting treatment.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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