Normally when I feel this way I'd call my treatment team's line, but they're sooooo fking useless. I know how to not hurt myself, it's not that fking hard. It's wanting to not hurt myself that's the issue. I deserve it. God knows. He sees the evil in me. He knows I made out with the devil and loved every second of it.

I hate my T. I hate her, hate her, hate her. I hate my CM too. My pdoc can go to hell. I swear I'm quitting treatment.