It's not quite the same, but I've felt closer to Dr. T's backup T a few times in the past year or two than to him. And felt a bit guilty about it.

I think it can be a natural thing. Where we might feel closer to someone who is giving us the support we need in the moment. Especially if there's some sort of conflict with the primary support-giver, like in your situation, Lost.

I think it also could be that there are certain expectations that we (including myself) place on our T's. And we don't have those same expectations of others that provide support. It's less complicated in that way. There isn't a history. So that could be part of what's going on as well. Like, in my case, if Dr. T's backup didn't understand something I was trying to explain, I wouldn't feel bothered in the same way I would if Dr. T wasn't getting something I was trying to say.

And I think it's OK to keep those supports as you're rebuilding with R.