I'm sorry you're going through this, Lost.

Right now, even with all that's going on, I don't necessarily feel closer to my other supports. I think for me, more comfortable and more trust in my other supports. Which still hurts. I want L to be my closest, most comfortable and trustworthy support. I have to accept that right now she isn't. And she has to accept that, too. I know how hard it is to feel distance from a therapist. I felt that way when L was on her leave. I guess I feel distance from her now, too. But not necessarily closer to the others. Distance from someone who is supposed to be close, comfortable, trustworthy is so painful. Imo, it actually makes the gap seem wider because of what they mean to us.