Not everyone!

I think you are re-enacting trying to get her to change, trying to hurt her, etc - but the only reason you can do this is because deep down you know you are safe. You know she wont kill you - unlike your sister and dad, or my family but esp my mom.

As for your h, he doesnt want to see you win this battle (with yourself, really) because then you might use that strength on him. Something like that.