I’ve been back home in London for the past 5 days. I haven’t been home for over 600 days. My mother is a hoarder. Not the minor jokey kind, It got worse with my siblings leaving for university and bringing back their stuff. I could barely even get into one room, as it was so filled with junk and carrier bags. It’s not fully done. I cleared out one room, you can now walk into the second.

My mother only pulled a few items out of the carrier bag. My old coat that doesn’t zip up, but that she could send overseas for a distant relative to use as they could fix it. An old bed sheet protector . Awful I know but I also started discarding things without showing her first because I know she would make excuses and try to keep it.

I’ve donated books that have been in the cupboard for over 15 years. I’ve donated extra food at a food bank that’s still in date. I physically had to carry it, but split it up into three bags as it was so heavy.

All I’ve literally been doing, since I came back is just cleaning and decluttering. My mother has told me to rest, but I won’t be here long term, so need to get it done.

There’s still two other rooms left. I felt so overwhelmed, but started chipping away at it bit by bit by putting on my favourite musical playlists and an audiobook I listen to on repeat .

I got hurt from when I got a long cut on my foot. My fault as I wasn’t wearing shoes in the room, and got scraped by a broken clothes drying rack.

I feel so resentful towards my two younger siblings who still live at home who have barely been helping at all and also allowed things to get so bad. One is on break from university until October. The other does work 10 hour shifts, but doesn’t work every single day. The age gaps between us is 11 and 9 years.

I also booked an experience for them too. It was supposed to start at 1pm. They didn’t leave with enough time so missed it. It cost £150. The youngest is 21. I woke her up at 9am. She knew she had to go. She paid me back, but I’m still annoyed and so done with both of them. The only thing that was different this time round is that I didn’t nag, and let them sort it out themselves.

Apart from one ikea trip, I haven’t done anything for myself since I got here. I’m just going to head out by myself more.

On the plus side, I found photographs I’ve never seen before of my brother and me as kids. .