My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in #82

LadyShadow · Sep 10, 2024 at 08:33 AM

Hey guys,

Yesterday was SO horrible. I mean I got incredible news that I am going to be offered a job at a CPA firm I was referred to, and it will change everything for me, BUT the guy who helped me get it is worried about the background check. GOD I am too, am I ever. Guys, I am SO mad. I know I should have forgiveness, but why did I have to carry these horrible charges, (GOD MY CHARGES ARE SO HORRIBLE), and my ex-husband's were dropped? Why did they send him to a psych hospital after jail and me to a rehab? From the hospital they found him incompetent, but you know, I was definitely not in my right mind either when all this happened. I am just SO MAD that all his charges were dropped, and I have to carry all of this - I just had a horrible time yesterday, because this is the first opportunity I have had in a long time to get back the career I once had. I feel so awful.

So, I went and visited my church when it was empty yesterday afternoon, and asked God to help me. I met with my church friend for our first lesson of our faith, and as I am on this journey to join the church officially, I am feeling better about things. Opportunities come and go, and if this was meant for me it will happen, despite all the unfairness attached to it. The good news through all of this is I decided to reach out to my little sister, (who I thought had me blocked but I forgot I have a new number now), and just let her know how much I missed her and loved her. The message came back "read" so I know she got it. Whether or not she answers, I don't care, just happy that I am not blocked, but that might change should her husband find out I reached out, ugh. He hates me.

Other than all that, I am functioning, working on that huge car payment I owe, it just all hurts so much. I hate my ex I do, but I know I can't carry that like I am, but it's so hard not to hate him. My whole life was ruined, and I lost so much. I guess I just have to be grateful for my blessings now, and not let the past destroy my mood in the present.

@Nammu so sorry this is still going on with your daughter. Is it possible for emergency Medicaid or something? @Blue_Bird - so sorry that you have been having a hard time sleeping - I still think you should try the Melatonin, it may relax you. @Blueberrybook - I am sorry the anxiety is so high, don't feel bad about the driving thing, I would feel really bad if I had kids and they wanted to go somewhere at night and I just CAN'T see at night, so I get it. @Rosi700 - I hope you got everything you needed to get done, you are in my prayers. @raspberrytorte - so sorry about all the itchiness and fleas, I wish there was a way they would all just go away. @Crazy Hitch - so sorry about what those 8th graders have been affecting you, I hope you hear back from the work comp or disability people soon. Hugs to those who need it, I'm just trying to stay positive today.