Yea, this. I feel exactly the same way. I feel homeless on the inside and wonder what's the meaning of existence or going on (not feeling suicidal at all). I've been retired for three years and I find myself not doing much. When I was working, it felt the same. I don't have much going for me socially. At times I feel OK because I like having alone times but then I feel bad about it. And I can feel guilty for not trying to do something about it.

It's natural for me to feel like the outside is not safe and against me. It can be hostile, while at the same time, I feel like a "sore thumb"; like no one out there feels the same as I do.

Now that I'm older, I feel like life is going to be disappointments, let-downs, and sorrows. Those gloomy occurrences seem like they'd be more common than joyful times. The joyful times do not seem to linger on for a long time. Every morning when I get up, I feel like my world will be coming to an end. But then I feel better after breakfast.