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LonesomeTonight
Always in This Twilight
 
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Default Sep 10, 2024 at 03:35 PM
 
So, I can really identify with this. Including how painful it can be. (Except that I'm sure Dr. T would never make any sort of comment about "the love we feel for each other" because he wouldn't ever admit to any sort of love toward me.)

Did he explain at all what he said? Because I'm wondering something. You are seeing it as "the love you feel for him is different than the love he feels for you." Is it at all possible that he meant the love felt for each other in therapy (both from you toward him and him toward you) is different from love felt in other areas of life? Like between romantic partners, parent to child, child to parent, friends, etc.

Something else I'd suggest, if you haven't done this already, is to talk about how each of you define "love" in terms of loving another person. In my discussions with Dr. T, I learned that I have a much broader interpretation of "love" than him. Like, I'll tell friends I love them, but he wouldn't (when asked, he said he'd feel that way, but wouldn't share it with them). And I said how I'll tell my guinea pigs I love them (he never said whether he tells it to his pets, but I doubt it). He said how for him, it's reserved for close family members (I assume his parents and siblings at least), his wife, and his son.

And we also talked about our respective definitions of "love" and what I meant when I said it to him. So that could be something to include in the journal or discuss.
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Thanks for this!
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