I dont think the average or even super client realizes how much a t will smooth over their rough edges expressly for each client. I think i was fortunate that my t let me see glimpses of his real self from time to time, which i found objectionable in the sense of "oh heck no i would not want THAT in my life!" Im just talking about a crude laugh, something like that. Whereas the reparative love that was shown did not contain those rough edges and allowed me to heal, so that i never had to accept those rough edges in my life ever again in order to get love.