I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. What it would have meant for me, if L would have ever just said I love you. Assuming of course she ever actually did feel love. I used to think she did. It used to feel that way. But she'd never say it. I can't help but wonder if she freaking had, even just once, I wouldn't have had to waste so many years and so many thousands of dollars unconsciously continuing trying to make her say it, the same way I unconsciously learned as a child the only way to get my mom to say "i love you" was for me to say it first. Ugh. But I'm probably still just broken enough that it wouldn't have changed anything in a positive way - I'd probably have just kept going and trying to hear it more. Who knows. Moot point now, for me anyway.

I hope the conversation goes well if you share it with him, NP.