Dear T,

I'm sure you could guess I'm struggling with today's session. You probably think it's just about the last half. But I think the disconnect happened right at the beginning. When I talked about having to go to the coffee shop under your old office with D over the weekend. How I was worried I'd be emotional. And you were all, "Put a positive spin on it! Think of the good therapy moments you had there with me and across the street with ex-MC. Change the narrative."

Like, yeah, that's all nice, but I'm not there yet. We still haven't fully talked about the move. I'm not yet in a place where I can smile about the positive things that happened there. Maybe someday I will be able to. But it's been 6 weeks. It felt invalidating. Then of course, there's what came later. I could say it was my own fault for bringing up my insight, but I thought the discussion would go in a different direction. Maybe something more connecting. Instead, it felt like you were driving a wedge in between us. You knew how I'd react to a few things you said.

It's just especially distressing because I felt so connected Wednesday--of course, that didn't have anything to do with the therapeutic relationship. Maybe that's why? But the recent handshake discussion was connecting. I don't know...

Sigh.

Love,
LT