I need a therapist that I jive with personality-wise. I definitely don’t like blank slate therapists: too much like talking to a doorknob. My therapists had pictures of their family in their offices and we chatted comfortably about casual things for a few minutes usually at the beginning of sessions. I enjoy getting to know people as people. I did NOT appreciate the one therapist I had who over shared her abuse history with me though. WAY inappropriate and I stopped seeing her almost immediately. That’s NOT casual conversation.

Once a week at most unless I am in true crisis, and I need the flexibility to schedule at varying times: a fixed slot each week would feel too rigid, too obligatory. My real life has to come first. I found that normally once every eight to ten days was more my groove. Gave me time to process and the flexible days and times kept it a bit less prominent over the other aspects of my life. For me, that allowed me to stay in the driver’s seat and not become overly dependent on the therapist.

I never had texting or email privileges with a therapist and I am glad it was that way. Knowing I had to pick up the phone and call allowed me to think before contacting and not let it turn into an issue of too frequent contact.

Touch was never an issue for me. I was always able to get a quick hug without it being a big deal. I think my therapists knew it was just kind of standard greeting for me without baggage so it was a non-issue. That said, they ALWAYS asked for permission before initiating any physical contact.

I was done with therapy before Covid hit, so I never had virtual therapy. I know I would have hated it and probably just quit. As a teacher forced suddenly into virtual teaching with no warning, the whole virtual thing was uncomfortable, stressful, and honestly a bit traumatizing with the association it will always have with my husband’s death. Every now and then I get forced into a virtual meeting at work and I detest every moment of it.