Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
@Rose76 DD went to the son & he had every right to tell her his boundaries & set them firm. That in no way is telling her what to do it is nothing more than him telling her what he needs to do for his well being & something he has every right to do. I see no intent there to make DD see mom the way he does. It is her choice all along & ALL choices have consequences & he i8s just letting her know what one of those consequences will be. She has a right to know known consequences. If she makes the choice to connect with her mom then she may learn there are more consequences than just the one with her brother. That is real life.
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For a young man of this son's age to be telling his kid sister that he'll have nothing to do with her, if she is in contact with her mother, is ridiculous. He can do whatever he wants to safeguard his boundaries. Making that big announcement to his sister was uncalled for. So now he can't even be in his father's house because that would put him in contact with someone who is seeing the mother he wants to avoid. He's trying to guilt her.
Where does he plan to go, since he "won't be home."? I don't believe he's going anywhere. He's trying to make it sound like his sister will be ruining his life. He's free to leave the house, when his mother is there. He's free to have nothing to do with his mother. But he says he can't have anything to do with DD, unless she will refuse to have nothing to do with her mother. That's the way high school girls in mean cliques operate. That's being manipulative. I think he's way out of line to pressure his sister in that way. He is trying to set his sister's boundaries, which is wrong.
Some consequences are inevitable, some are not. If the consequence of DD talking to her mother is that big brother will choose to cut her out of his life, then big brother needs to get over himself.