Just putting everything down in random order:


I'd say similar to how it is with my T (minus the illness and connected scheduling issues). One session a week, fixed time, early afternoon, with additional support if needed, i.e. phone calls or an additional session, max one per week unless there's an acute major crisis. No touch besides handshake, maybe a hug to say good bye on the final session. Length of session should be fluid but more or less an hour, more if it's a major crisis and in person. Discussion is open to everything, but T knows what the general things at the moment could be and goes with whatever I bring to the table. But he also has an idea of where to go if I'm stuck. I'd say it has to be a man at the moment, I really don't vibe well with women. He should be at a stable point in life where stuff doesn't constantly change and he can guarantee to not suddenly vanish minus unforeseen circumstances. He shouldn't have a problem with disclosing, but should keep it to a good minimum, I probably won't ask much until year 4 or 5. Has to be able to work with trauma and dissociation and should know how to guide me to calm down. Has to trust me. Shouldn't get overly angry, firm voice is enough. Should be a bit but not too pushy.
During session, we concentrate on me mostly, not other clients or other things. Boundaries are clear and my boundaries are respected. Awareness of how things will affect me and signaling so (for example knowing that cancelling on their behalf is unpleasant to me and to acknowledge that). He should be able to take accountability and discuss arguments without them getting heated.

Online therapy isn't necessary for me, email contact is comfortable but I'll handle it the same way I handle written letters with my current T. And he has to have a personality that fits mine. If I don't feel comfortable or get rubbed the wrong way in the first session, I'll probably not come back and otherwise it'll probably work.