When the oldest was 16 he began asking me to sleep in a different room. Because of the floor plan in our house he could hear stuff from our room and no one else could. He heard his mom’s anger at me night after night. He came into our room and asked her to stop many times and saw me in my usual spot, sitting on the floor away from the door. I’m a strong guy. My wife had accused me of trying to physically intimidate her and block the door to prevent her from leaving the room. . When she’d begin berating me I’d move away from the door and take a physical position lower than her.

I’ve requested mediation and a divorce settlement multiple times and she’s refused. She’s adamant she’s going to financially destroy me and take everything. She’s also said repeatedly she’s going to “ruin” me. My son heard those threats from her over the years during late night fights. He confronted her with all this about five months before we separated. She denied it ALL and has continued to say she was blindsided by the separation and there had never been talk of separation in our marriage.

So, I’ll be testifying that I was abused. He’s the only person who can corroborate that.

There’s also abuse he’s talked about in family counselling that I didn’t know about, but there’s corroborating evidence for everything he’s saying. I believe him.

While she was loudly threatening divorce in our final months my son said repeatedly, “What about me and my plans for college? You can’t take this from me.” Every time he said that she replied “Once you’re 18 you’re not my problem. Figure it out.”

So…. He needs to feel safe and wanted someplace. He thought he was going insane for a while because the gaslighting was so bad.

He told my daughter he can’t question himself or feel uncertain before going to court. He’s also scared his mom will find out about where he’s staying when he’s not home, where he’s working, etc. Therefore if she wants a relationship with her mom, he’s staying away.

His mom fawning over daughter periodically while denying things daughter said occurred is just triangulation abuse and more gaslighting. . He’s not caused any of this, and it’s not him who’s bullying and coercing daughter.

The periodic fawning also has a term; breadcrumbing. Her mom is giving her samples of the love she needs…. But not actually. It’s not real, and it’s not true parental love.

But if I tell her that, and she tells her mom I said that, mom can cry parental alienation in court.


RDMercer